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Why you should always (always!) lie to pollsters


importance of public opinion

The two most important things you can do this year are:

  1. Vote for Trump on November 3.
  2. Lie to pollsters if you are ever surveyed.

Lying to pollsters is a means of Deplorable Resistance and it is also a means of protecting yourself when things go south and the SHTF.

Pollster calls are (obviously) never expected but I have been polled multiple times over the past few years so it does happen.

Think about Your Basket of Deplorable Resistance Lies ahead of time so you don’t get caught telling the truth.

Here are some tips for Deplorable Resisters:

Never, ever give them your correct age, ethnicity, income or, if they ask, sexual preference.

Automatically shave 10 years off your age if over 40 and add 10 if under.

If you are of The Pale Persuasion, pick a minority group to be a member of; bi-racial also works and they often don’t know what to do with that.

If you are a Deplorable of Color say you are a honky or not of your true ethnicity.

Rule of thumb on this: U Pic Em as long as it’s not true.

Income is dealers choice but I always go way high cuz I’m gunna be picking Joe or whatever Donk they are asking about.

Skew ’em…

Sometimes the nosy bastards will ask about sexual preference and you can play the LBGTQ card.

(Again, if you are a LBGTQ Deplorable tell them you’re a hetro cis-gender.)

Remember your goal here is to mess up their sample as best you can and cause the results to be as invalid as possible.

There is also a practical self-protection reason for lying as well: the pollster may (probably will) share information they glean with others.

You can bet BLM, Soros, Antifa et al are compiling data bases of suspected Deplorables for re-education come the revolution.

And always, always, always identify as a Democrat - regardless, even if you are a Libertarian or an independent.

That way you may have a shred of Plausible Deniability at the Kangaroo Court.

Also, even if the pollster identifies as a “friendly” (Rasmussen,for example) the Lie Rule still applies because it will make GOP Squishes think about working harder.

Nothing you tell a pollster will be confidential, so if you don’t want to lie just hang up.

Don’t believe me about the pollster data harvesting?

True story ahead:

Several years ago I was polled by Gallup and I said I was a 25 year old mixed race female to male transsexual of color who made 135K annually.

(Trust me, they will not argue with you even if they think you are bullshitting them.)

Anyway, about two months later I got a survey in the mail from a group of graduate students at a large university asking me to fill out a research form for a project on transsexual life adjustment they were working on for a foundation.

Enclosed was a crisp 20 dollar bill to compensate me for my trouble.

Of course the survey was immediately shit canned and the 20 bucks went for beer money.

Now I kinda doubt they randomly picked Your Uncle Bruno outta the phone book which means the bastards at Gallup shared my data.

So lie, lie, lie out of self-preservation Spartans.

Finally, it’s fun as all get out to Yank Their Chain.

Guaranteed it will put a smile on your face the rest of the day!



Bruno Strozek

Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.


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