AOC In Charge: “All right you Primitive Screwheads, listen up!”

Sometimes The Intersectionality is Just Too Kosmic.

I am speaking, of course, about where Army of Darkness meets The Green New Deal.

It seems The Feisty Freshman has decided that it’s time to kick ass or chew bubble gum and has not been able to find any Bazooka Joe.

Now that Snopes has been reduced to fact-checking The Babylon Bee we are now living in a world where Shopping Smart (Shop S-Mart!) means buying into the accelerated PowerTrip (TM) currently embarked upon by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-Oceania) in her effort to Start The Purges:

Well gosh, that didn’t take long now did it?

And Just Like That the afore-mentioned Babylon Bee was on top of the meme with an “is it satire or is it real post”:

After a recently elected democratic socialist politician suddenly began using authoritarian, elitist-sounding language mere weeks after getting her first whiff of power, every single person in the country who’s never read a history book expressed their shock and surprise at the sudden transformation.

The woman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, tweeted “We’re in charge” in the context of a proposed sweeping government takeover of the economy, saying her critics who haven’t proposed an alternative were “shouting from the cheap seats.” She also declared “I’m the boss, how about that?” in a recent video interview. The statements shocked certain groups of people across the country, namely, those who haven’t been in the same room as a history book anytime in the past few decades.

“Wow, a socialist who was elected on her promises to work ‘for the people’ is suddenly telling everyone she’s in charge and they have to listen to her? That’s really weird,” said one man in Portland who dropped his world history class in high school. “I would have thought socialists never suddenly transform into power-hungry maniacs as soon as they get their first high from telling people what to do.”

“It’s just, I’ve never heard of that happening in the past, say, 100 years or so,” he added before he had to return to his Starbucks shift, wrapping his work apron around his hammer and sickle T-shirt.

Inquiring minds want to know: Truth or Crap?

The Jury is Out until The Snopes Lady sings…


Written by Bruno Strozek

Bruno Strozek is the author of occasionally semi-coherent piffle and has been a Writer/Editor at Sparta Report since July 2016.

Strozek, along with his alter-egos the decadent, drug-addled Sixties refugee Uncle Bruno and his intolerably feminist SJW Cousin Brunoetta have been riding the not-yet crested wave of deplorability with posts covering politics, sports, entertainment and zombies.

Aptly described as both "hilarious and deeply disturbed" Strozek has enthusiastically embraced the recommendation of the late Raoul Duke that "when the going gets weird the weird turn pro."

Although he has fallen far short of his bucket-list goal of writing for such respectable rags as The National Enquirer and The Weekly World News Strozek is grateful for the opportunity to pen his unhinged screeds at Sparta Report and is constantly amazed and delighted at the reception his pieces receive in the cements.

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